Pandemic Schmandemic (Reposted from an earlier note)

I first learned about the swine flu in the El Salvador International Airport. Easily 50% of the people there were wearing various mask-type implements over their face, from full on cartridge respirators to cheesecloth.

They looked silly.

I saw a security person checking passports without gloves. He probably handles 200 passports an hour. Same with the ticket-takers, cashiers, etc. Meanwhile there was no soap in the bathrooms (this was the 3rd world, after all).

At this point we decided everyone else was retarded, and what didn't kill us only made us stronger.

To date, Swine flu has killed less than 1000 people. In a normal year, flu can kill a half million. The last "Pandemic" in 1968 offed an even mil. The official record I guess, is held by the Spanish flu of 1918-1920, responsible for more than 75 million deaths (though it reasonable to assume that modern medical care could have greatly reduced that number).

To the numbers:
DEATH ANNUAL RATE (#/YR)
Spanish flu 1918 25,000,000
Hong Kong flu 1,000,000
Swine flu (ytd) 1,000
Flu (normal yr) 350,000
Heart disease 17,500,000
Cancer 7,600,000
Violence 1,600,000

The point of course, is that the same flu-panic retards rushing to the ER for the sniffles would probably be better off spending their time in other activities: smoking cessation, walking on a treadmill, putting down the doughnut, and not worrying themselves frantic. Statistically, at least, those activities would be the safe bet. But these are probably the same morons who felt that a N-95 dust mask was their ticket to surviving the apocalypse.

I understand the hubabaloo over a particularly virulent strain of H1N1. It underlies what I see as the most awesome health irony ever. Swine flu initiates a massive immune response in healthy individuals, leading to lymphatic fluid overload in the lungs, then suffocation. This is why it (and the Spanish flu) tend to kill the young and healthy instead of culling the old and sick. Those of us who choose to eat well, exercise, and not get hysterical over media hype on imminent death have healthy immune systems. The idiots on the other hand, whose poor choices can saddle them with any variety of system-weakening ailments, likely get a free pass.

Fuck. It's like I'm being stalked by the smart and sexy virus.

I have never been a fan of chronic disease, or seeing family members and friends succumb to the random incidences of cancer or the bad luck of poor genes. Outside of these personal connections, I always liked to think that disease still functioned with basic Darwinistic purpose, leaving more resources for the rest of us - that a calm and rational portion of the populace making healthy living choices might live to stave off Idiocracy.

But apparently, if you think that wearing a mask on a crowded plane will keep you safe, you might just be OK after all.
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Though your humble narrator works out daily, he is keeping twinkies and a pack of smokes at the ready, just in case.